Dumpy's Munnkie Nuts

by Spaghetti Wound

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about

Debut album from Spaghetti Wound. Kinda punk, and kinda stupid.

credits

released March 22, 2017

Songs written and performed by S John Cowan
Song titles by S John Cowan, Cherry Fixter, Stuart Fixter.

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Høst Recordings Lincoln, UK

Høst Recordings looks after the works of Steve Cowan. These are usually solo projects, but occasionally feature bands that Steve is a part of.

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Track Name: Suggestive Digestive
Sweet, sweet, tasty treat
Good enough to dunk and eat
So silky smooth, don't fall apart
A tea-time milky work of art

But what if there was more to this?
A nudge, a wink, an oaty kiss
This biscuit's built for so much more
A crumbly, round, digestive whore

Suggestive, digestive
My biscuity mistress
Behind the closed doors
It's none of your business

I need to lick and I need to twirl
Things that make your hair curl
I'll stroke you 'til I'm misting up
A juice to squeeze, can you fill this cup?

There is so much more to this
You tempting, sultry miss
I'll always come back for more
My crumbly, round, digestive whore

Suggestive, digestive
Playing soggy biscuit
Behind the closed doors
It's none of your business
Track Name: In The Shite Garden
Onky donky, clinky clong
Pinky winky's, massive dong
Oopsy doopsy, shitey stink
Oh, those poor little kiddie winks

Acka wacka, finky ding
Purple puppet cannot sing
The blue one only wants to shout
The red one got her knockers out

In the Shite Garden, come and play
Where grown people hide away
Their secrets taken to the grave
Turning children into slaves

Sing with me and give me hugs
Sell your childhood, buy my drugs
Keep the pain for biographies
Use the highlights for obituaries

In the Shite Garden, come and play
Where grown people hide away
Their secrets taken to the grave
Turning children into slaves
Track Name: The Log Of The Flaming Antler
All hail the reindeer king
Ressurrected to shake his thing
He'll dance away the pain and greed
And sing his carols while smoking weed

All hail the execution
A solid family institution
He'll separate you from your head
To please the Gods they've never met

Pray to the flaming horn
The Pagan God is reborn
Pray to the flaming horn
The Pagan God is reborn

All hail the funeral pyre
Burned alive in Lincolnshire
To appease the phantom God
Lift up high the antler log
Track Name: Senegalese Sweetcorn
Once upon a time, in a desert town
Rode the sweetest man and his hound
With skin of yellow, and a bullet belt
He kept the peace while his dog did yelp
He tried to keep it running gracefully
Until the green arrived so drastically
Covered in butter and wrapped in bread
He shot those bastards til they're dead

Senor Sweetcorn!
It's the barbecue for you

After thirty years of foiling raids
He realised he wasn't paid
So he robbed their bank and ran away
And joined the circus for his remaining days
Until at last he was cornered by
A cauliflower and some pumpkin pie
They drew their guns and all hell broke out
And all were dead, except the clowns

Senor Sweetcorn!
It's the barbecue for you
Track Name: A Ninja Uninjured
He was the very model of athletic man
With muscles large, his name was Stan
He came to rid the world of Commies
They all ran scared back to their mommies
His medals worn with utmost pride
His Russian partner became his bride
Retirement never suited him
So he's fighting crime again

He dons his outfit black and tight
To give the bad men such a fright
They'll mend their ways and turn to good
They're frightened of his ninja hood

Until one day he came across
A Sega Master System boss
He was too tough, he lost a life
And so the boss kidnapped his wife
A montage to the sound of survivor
Playing their hit "eye of the tiger"
Gave him strength to beat the boss
And off the roof, he then did toss

He dons his outfit black and tight
To give the bad men such a fright
They'll mend their ways and turn to good
All because of his ninja hood
Track Name: Barman's Gravy
Upon the thin veneer of the public bar
Stands a greasy tub of finest lard
Such a finer thing to roast me spuds
Can't be found, for love nor good

A plate of veg and your finest meat
Such a mess when I start to eat
A final thought for my epitaph?
Hold the greens, but loads more mash

Instant death via mountain plate
Did anything ever taste so great?
Deepest brown, and oh so tasty
Another pint of Barman's Gravy

I'm fit as a butcher's dog
I've never needed to diet
Just take that bacon and fry it
It tastes so great
So why be opposed?
If gangrene takes my fingers and toes

Instant death via mountain plate
Did anything ever taste so great?
Deepest brown, and oh so tasty
Another pint of Barman's Gravy
Track Name: Dog Wipe Cat Veg
My doggy has got no nose
Plastic surgery is what he chose
To look his best he took the knife
And now he can't give his nose a wipe

He had a job as a sniffer dog
He keeps fit with a morning jog
But now that his nose has gone
He lost his job, and he cannot run

That dog can't wipe
He can't wipe his nose

My kitty will not eat chicken
She turns her nose up at her din-dins
I kicked her out of my tiny flat
I didn't want a veggie cat

So she went on a killing spree
Her little face lighting up with glee
She'd eat their flesh, so ravenous
My carnivore fluffy puss

That cat now hates veg
She wants to eat my face